I feel you. I feel your frustrations. I understand your pains. I am not blind to your heartaches. Nor am I oblivious to your restless mind. And like you I also struggle.
If you didn't win this one, I am sorry. I just want you to know that you must keep on fighting. Keep on surviving. Keep on loving.
For seven months I've tried to forget. For 28 weeks I've tried to convince myself. And for 196 days I am fighting. We both are. This time I am fighting with him beside me.
For months, my fiance has been battling with homesickness without telling me. He told me that he was lost and he find himself in the dark walk without him being aware of it. He felt guilty about the matter. He felt embarrass about what is happening that is why he kept things from me to protect me from all the hurts that it would bring.
There is only one thing I can tell to those who are in pain. Let it hurt until it can;t possibly hurt anymore. Let it hurt until you get so sick of being in that state that you finally want to make that decision to get better. To start focusing on other things and to start doing things for yourself once again.
I have been lucky in this instance. Because when I want to call it off, my Fiance wouldn't let me. I am still fighting against him but he chose to fight with me. I am the one he loves he says, so he will stay whether I like it or not. He will still work on our dreams like we used to. The other day he talks to me about starting a family. How he will cook for me and take care of me. How we will buy a car when we get to be together. He is planning all the future for us. I am also thankful for his real friends both in Canada and here in Philippines for the support they had given us. For his family who are always there for us.
As he said, "We have come a long way. Don't give up on me. Not now. Not ever."
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