Chances are you didn't wake up this morning and think: Yes, today is the day I'm going to meet a committed man—and I'm going to want to be with him. I'm even going to want him to leave his intended so that we can be together.
The thought never crossed her minds, but at the end of March last spring (whether or not she has broken up with her boyfriend), she was attracted to him.
Knowing he was committed didn't
stop her from feeling the attraction, but she needed not concern herself. After
all, she was a good Christian woman - she already know that what she is doing
is a sin.
Proverbs
16:18 heeds, "Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a
fall." What she thought was strength or maturity in the face of attraction
was, in fact, pride. What she thought was just a harmless attraction was
actually bait on the line of temptation. Gradually, she was reeled further into
the entanglement of sin. It was shockingly subtle and surprisingly innocent—a
flirtatious comment here, or a lingering look there.
And it
would be harder than she could have expected to get off the hook.
She knew what she was doing is
wrong, but she felt drawn to this man. And when she so strongly feel something
that she identify as a good feeling (such as lust that we interpret as love),
it's easy to question if it could possibly be too good to be wrong.
She let her feelings guide her decisions and that was part of
the problem. She felt affirmed. She felt noticed. She felt desired. And prior
to being friendly with him, she was oblivious to how starved she was for those
satisfactions (she choose to find it in the committed man rather that look to her boyfriend).
She was so caught up in other things—and complacent about the
important things—that she wasn't aware of how depleted her heart was. On a
daily and weekly basis, she was shirking her relationship with God (despite the
fact that she keeps on attending churches and posting bible verses). Once this
man provided what she didn't even know she was missing, that attention was hard
to reject.
The emotional affair began
before anything physical happened. Too often she gloss over the emotional
affair, not believing that an emotional affair is a sin too. But this sin of her
heart—and the idolization of this man as her source of affirmation—was no less
sinful. (She keeps on posting pictures of him on her social media, anything that is related to his
mannerism, his personal things, the memories that only she will get to remember (as my Fiance was never sentimental about the things they did together and justification for her actions through Bible
verses)
So
began the war within. She felt conflicted in her heart, but her desire didn't
want to walk away—She didn't want to walk away. And though she
was never fully at peace with the idea of being in a relationship with a committed
man, she justified it enough to get what she wanted out of it:
Validation.
Connection.
Affection.
Friendship.
She found it easy to justify her sinful relationship because
although this man didn't have any particular grievances with his intended.
"She gives no though to the way of life; her paths are crooked, but she knows it not" Proverbs 5:6
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