To Those Who feel Their Heartbreak Will Never Ends

I feel you. I feel your frustrations. I understand your pains. I am not blind to your heartaches. Nor am I oblivious to your restless mind. And like you I also struggle.

If you didn't win this one, I am sorry. I just want you to know that you must keep on fighting. Keep on surviving. Keep on loving.

For seven months I've tried to forget. For 28 weeks I've tried to convince myself. And for 196 days I am fighting. We both are. This time I am fighting with him beside me.

For months, my fiance has been battling with homesickness without telling me. He told me that he was lost and he find himself in the dark walk without him being aware of it. He felt guilty about the matter. He felt embarrass about what is happening that is why he kept things from me to protect me from all the hurts that it would bring.

There is only one thing I can tell to those who are in pain. Let it hurt until it can;t possibly hurt anymore. Let it hurt until you get so sick of being in that state that you finally want to make that decision to get better. To start focusing on other things and to start doing things for yourself once again.

I have been lucky in this instance. Because when I want to call it off, my Fiance wouldn't let me. I am still fighting against him but he chose to fight with me. I am the one he loves he says, so he will stay whether I like it or not. He will still work on our dreams like we used to. The other day he talks to me about starting a family. How he will cook for me and take care of me. How we will buy a car when we get to be together. He is planning all the future for us. I am also thankful for his real friends both in Canada and here in Philippines for the support they had given us. For his family who are always there for us.

As he said, "We have come a long way. Don't give up on me. Not now. Not ever."

Escape to San Juan Batangas

Its the time of the year again when the sea is calling for me. I have spent few days in Batangas for relaxation and meditation. This past few months have been taking a toll on me. And I need a recharge.

I love photography. I wish to have a spanking laptop so that I will be able to enhance my editing skills and video editing. (Fiance says he will buy me one, but I will save something just in case. The one I had at home keeps on hanging on me. I have been using it since college).

I was able to enjoy my stay here. Of course the foods are sumptuous which is a real deal breaker. I was surprise that I was able to gobble as much food as before since my appetite has been off this past few months. Maybe the provincial air is good for me.

I wish to go to Sagada or Benguet but sadly my fiance wouldn't let me. Oh well..

Valentine's Surprise

Today I received a Valentine's from my fiance. It came as a surprise because I was not expecting anything from him. We are not the type of couple who celebrate Valentine's Day as a rule, a simple date will suffice. Also, I am not the type of girl who demands outrageous gesture from my fiance.

It came as a surprise to me when he began to badger me to stay at the office a little bit longer. According to him, he has some delivery from Jollibee for me. I am thinking maybe his valentine for me this year is dinner which is nice of him. But a much bigger package was being hand over to me by our security guard.

Inside the box contains every Valentine's gift that a girl can have.

However, it seems that "harlot" is keeping tracks of my activity. Because she messaged me the next day about receiving Chocolates, flowers, balloon and teddy bear. And it put me in a bad mood. What is it to her if I've got valentine's gifts? She said she wants help in figuring things out. No need to figure things out - my impression of her will always be - A SLUT! Because what kind of decent woman that will engage/accept the advances of a man who is already engaged/committed to someone else? I thought she is not idiot as to go after my fiance as her ex told me? Or that my fiance is not handsome enough for her to fall head over heels with, again according to her ex. Seems she enjoy being the third party.

Woman like that is way way beneath me. I would never have spread my legs for someone that is not mine to begin me nor will I ever be free with kisses.


To end, I would wish every girl a happy valentine's day. To those who never gave up despite being emotionally tortured by the other woman!

Girls Like You

I will not only brand you with a scarlet letter, but also with a big sign that says “hypocrite.” You are giving in to the societal pressures that pin girls against one another. You are responsible for making it too tempting to slut-shame, to hate you.

I don't know how to talk to you. Rationally I know we can't be that different, but at my very core I believe that there's no common ground between girls like you and girls like me.

You are always full of excuses as to why what went down is not your fault.

You walk around, talking about him in your Instagram. Like your one sentence was enough to rationalize your behavior. There is no way to convince me that what you did was okay or excusable.

You made a choice, a decision to barrel through our relationship that we so meticulously built and you crushed everything. No half of the story is going to change the fact that you participated in something that left me feeling broken and completely alone.

Your excuses are irrelevant.

You had a choice. There is always a moment when you can either say "Yes I will do this" - choosing to live with consequences - or walk away.

Maybe you are at peace with the consequences. maybe you are fine with your choices.

Regardless, I will never forgive girls like you.

Reasons Why You Shouldn't Be A Third Party In A Relationship

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:10-12

1. It won’t end well.

A relationship is often likened to a tree that will grow strong, take root and spread its branches. When two people get together, naturally they will think of marriage, buying a house and having kids to form a family. But when you’re a third party – essentially you’re throwing the original couple’s plans in disarray. (She has no respect!) Think about it, the gf/wife when she finds out, is going to definitely hate you. Whether or not she hates her bf/husband. This is because you ruined their relationship by accepting to be the third party. 

2. You will have the reputation of being the slut / home wrecker.

If you decide to be the third party, while in full knowledge that the guy is attached, basically you’re consciously just throwing your reputation down the drain. Usually the first thing people will remember about you is how you shamelessly agree to be the third party. Everyone will agree that the cheating guy is a bastard but if you accept a relationship with the bastard, knowing he is behaving as one, then you have no defense and is putting women around the world to shame for behaving this way.

3. You deserve a better guy or you deserve the one you leave behind

Seriously. Maybe women who accepts the role of the third party do so because they are afraid that they can’t find a better guy. I’m telling you right now that your value and worth is not based on some guy’s affection for you. If you believe in Christ – your value and worth is based on your identity in Christ as a precious child of God. If you don’t believe in Christ – your value and worth exists because your parents bore and raised you – definitely not for you to be the third party. And if you have sucky parents, your value and worth comes from within – from how YOU define it, not how others perceive you to be, ok? Go tell that guy to fly a kite because you deserve someone better than him, someone who can devote his entire heart to you. 

4. Your relationship can’t see the light of day.

He probably deletes every message / whatsapp after you send them incase his gf sees it. He probably dates you to neighborhood coffee shops where no one will see the both of you hanging out. You want to go out to Orchard to shop and watch a movie, visit Gardens by the Bay but he is probably too cowardly and scared that people might recognize him with you and find out about his cheating. A healthy relationship is one where there is no hiding, you don’t have to nor should you be afraid of people seeing you two together. If the guy is afraid to bring you out to crowded places – with the exception that he is some super hot star – do yourself a favour, drop him like a hotcake, please.

5. You won’t be his one devotion.

You already know he has a gf/wife and chances are, you are second place. I hope you won’t fall for the “I am with her but my heart is with you”.

6. You will cheapen yourself.

Humans will only treasure what they fought hard to get. When you fall into the third party place, the guy is unlikely to treat you like a hard earned precious pearl since he ain’t going to give you the full treatment that’s reserved for his main gf/wife – wedding banquet and all. Imagine that, just imagine that.

7. If he meant to break up with his gf/wife, he would have done so already.

If he claims that he will break up when “the time is right”, please don’t be so naive. He will not break up. He is leading you on and you will be the fool if you follow him.

What should you do?

1. Tell him to stop contacting you or stop flirting with you because you respect him, his gf / wife.

2. Move on in life – surround yourself with trustworthy friends of both sexes who will introduce you friends who are trustworthy too.

3. Don’t feel guilty about his lecherous feelings for you.

4. Just be direct and ask “Are you single or attached?” before you agree to go on dates in future. If he says attached and still asking you out – tell him to bring his gf/wife along and basically don’t waste your time on him any longer.

And lastly, since you are older than me by few years you should know this already and have the common sense to do all of the above. 

Source: https://enabalista.com/2015/01/03/why-you-shouldnt-be-the-third-party-in-a-relationship/