Wednesday 12 August 2015

LDR Diary #2

Sacrifice. Trust. Understanding. Communication. Patience

These are the important ingredients to survive a long distance relationship. As stated in my previous post, my fiancee is working at Tim Hortons in Victoria, Canada. He is working there close to a month already. To date, we are still communicating everyday (we videochat during my lunch break at the office and before I go to sleep each night. Aside from video chatting, we also send viber texts/messages in between for updates or just to keep the communication line open). It was not easy, at least for me. For four years that we've been together, my life revolved around home, work and him. I do have hobbies since I have attended art workshops/classes like photography, polymer clay making and fabric flower making. For those who knew me, I am a very frugal person, I don't relish taking classes because its pricey despite the fact that it will also be beneficial to me. Nevertheless, I just hate spending money so I prefer to put it in a bank or invest it. So, I have a very limited social life. When my fiancee take off to Canada to work, I have a lot of time on my hand and I don't know what to do about myself. I want to improve on myself, however, I don't know where to start. For the meantime, I while away my time at work, reading books, and most of the time I am awaiting for his messages which sounds pitiful. But what could I do?

Long distance relationship can be very frustrating. You don't know what your plans will be. We were supposed to set the wedding for October 2016, but because of the contract, the processing of the permanent residency the wedding will surely be move to a later (just hoping that it won't be in late 2017 or 2018 - regardless, I am still set on October 2016 **finger crossed**).

One of the fear that I have in this long distance relationship is trust issues. I am not a jealous person by nature since I trust my fiancee not to betray me. I just find it hard to trust the girls around him since separation can also leads to temptation. After all he is a guy. Trust is a very fragile thing. I know that my fiancee love me and will stay faithful, but sometimes I can't help but wonder if he fancies another one, which is very immature of me. I try to get it our of my head since I saw no reasons that he will do that.

I was hoping that in the long run, I would be more confident with what I have and what I feel, I will be doing activities that will satisfies myself and also, I'm hoping that we have a date already so that I can start planning for our wedding so that I can keep myself busy (which I really really wanted). Unfortunately, I will survive and enjoy the ride.